Utilizing Bowen Theory

Having been a student of Bowen Theory Education Center for the past three years, I realize I am increasingly aware of my own anxiety. This morning, in particular, I am aware my increased anxiety is from knowing, yesterday, I reacted in a situation rather than responded - not just one situation, but several (I guess anxiety left unchecked will snowball). Fortunately, time and sleep do serve to calm anxiety and my thinking is coming into balance with my emotions. In fact, I recognize my "automatic" (understood through the concept of multi-generational transmission process) was interfering with my ability to properly evaluate yesterday. Once I realized that, my anxiety neutralized because I know I have a choice to do something different, and, that I will do.

What do Dolly's Parton's secret to success and Bowen Theory have in common?

I recently watched an interview from ONE's Breakfast Show where Rawdon Christie interviewed Dolly Parton. The interview took place at Vector Arena where Dolly was planning to kick off her world tour. Mr. Christie spoke of several quotes of Dolly that define her secret to success. The quotes are as follows: "I know who I am. I know what I can and can't do. I know what I will and won't do. I know what I'm capable of and I don't agree to do things that I don't think I can pull off." Now that, according to Bowen Theory, is differentiation!!! Oh, I'd like to add that Dolly is one of twelve children, 68 years old at the time of the interview with no plans of slowing down in the near future. I LOVE IT!!! If you have 10 minutes to spare, you can watch via youtube at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjXzMz-aDgg

The more knowledge I gain about Bowen Theory, the more I appreciate the work of Dr. Murray Bowen and his contribution to society. A couple of weeks ago, I was downtown heading to my vehicle when I heard, "you got a little change to spare?" I immediately shook my head no, determined not to even look in the direction of the voice I heard. As I stood beside my vehicle with my granddaughter, waiting for my daughter, all I could think about was this person I had chosen to ignore by not looking his direction. (Obviously, my anxiety was up). When my daughter arrived, those few moments of internal wrestling while waiting by my vehicle compelled me to walk over to the man, look him in the eyes and ask his name. He answered and I then introduced myself, my daughter and my granddaughter. We all shook hands and he smiled while making playful gestures to my 15 month old granddaughter. The next few minutes, we chatted about family, health and other things. As I talked with him, I noticed how thin he was. I handed him enough cash to buy breakfast for which he was very thankful. Before we left, he asked if I was with a specific organization. I responded with "no, my daughter and I were here to clean an office this morning." He then said, "I was going to ask you to pray for me." I knelt beside him as we made a circle of held hands and prayed for him." As I drove home that morning, I couldn't help but wonder what happened in John's (named changed to protect his identity) life to bring him to this place? I also couldn't help but recognize the familiarity of the moments that preceded talking with John...not with strangers, but rather with family or significant others in my life. I've heard Jean Blackburn (President of Bowen Theory Education Center, Chattanooga, TN) say about anxiety, "Anxiety happens when the organism feels threatened. Ask yourself, 'What is the threat? and Is it real or perceived?'" Before learning Bowen Theory, my anxiety has often led me to avoid, distance or cut-off from another just as I was inclined to do with John. However, the knowledge I've gained through Bowen Theory and the work I have done enable me to respond in my anxiety rather than react in it. So, what was my threat with John? It was that I was being scammed and if I looked at him, I would have to give him money. Was it real or perceived? It was perceived. When I made a decision to look at John, ask him his name and chat with him, I no longer felt forced to give him money (or anything for that matter). Another thing I noticed was my anxiety neutralized so that I could respond to his first question. I don't know if I will ever run into John again, but, I do know that if I do, we will chat.

A Thought

If knowledge of one's family medical history aids an individual in better caring for their physical needs, it would make sense that knowledge of one's family emotional processes would aid to benefit one's emotional functioning (in other words, increase one's functioning amidst crisis/anxiety).

A VERY VALUABLE LEARNING EXPERIENCE

If someone asked me to state the most significant thing learned through my participation at BTEC, I would say it is "systems thinking." I find that "systems thinking" enables a much calmer approach to the "stressors" life brings and enables a more accurate assessment of any given situation. The benefits, in practical terms... "whys" are avoided, facts are gathered, judgements are put aside, blaming has no place, emotions don't dictate, problem solving happens, and unnecessary stress is left behind. THANK YOU JEAN, DR. DWYER, AND LINDA FOR YOUR TIME AND EFFORTS IN TEACHING BOWEN THEORY!!

March Blog Training

Great training session for BTEC Bloggers today.  Lee Blackburn was very helpful to those present.

A Nugget Gained through BTEC!

During supervision yesterday Jean said that the work she has done through Bowen Theory Education has prepared her to "meet life as it comes to her" versus "reacting to life." This is my nugget for the month that inspires me to keep working.